Hetalia On Air
by rubyred1234
Summary: A TV show hosted by Nigeria. What could possibly go wrong? You know besides the occasional burning buildings and raving rabbits.
1. Interview 1

**Warning: This is attempted humor. ATTEMPTED AS IN TRIED TO WRITE HUMOR! Read on. **

Hetalia On Air

Interview 1

"Welcome to hetalia on air. I'm your host of the day Nigeria! Our original host got lost on the way here."

(In a closet)

"Let me outta here! When I get my hands on you Nigeria!" Scotland angrily yelled. He was tied up to a chair.

(Back to the show)

"Anyway today we'll be interviewing some of your favorite characters such as America." The crowd began cheering. "Canada? What's a Canada?" Nigeria looked over at the stage crew. Hungary shrugged. "France." The only sound that could be heard was crickets. "Sorry that's my phone." Spain said. "And England!" The crowd went crazy. "I love you England!" Someone yelled. "Our crowd is made up of fangirls and guys. yeah I said that and guys." Nigeria noted. "This will not end well." He added. "Before we get started please enjoy this commercial."

(Commercial break)

"Is your Sting acting a little Rogue? Is your Laxus acting like a Freed Bickslow? And does your Natsu look a little Gray? Well come on down to Zeraf's. I promise you won't be dissapointed. Even the magic council shops here."

"Isn't that just the death mage Zeref?"

"Of course not. His name is Zeraf and he wouldn't be selling us stuff to aid in his capture."

"Okay and Zeraf's stuff is amazing."

"Just listen to those happy customers. So come on down to Zeraf's."

(End of commercial)

"That wasn't the scheduled commercial." China whispered to Prussia. The albino shrugged not knowing what was going on either. In the background a certain pink haired dragon slayer was sneaking away.

"Okay so the first to interview is Alfred Jones aka The united stated of America." The crowd began cheering for him. "So America tell us about yourself?' Nigeria asked. "I'm American." Cheers erupted through the crowd and an I love you England was heard. "You know you have alot of fans." "I know and I love them all." More cheers were heard. "So how old are you?" America put on a thoughtful look. "As old as my freedom." Awws were heard. "Would like you a hamburger?" Nigeria gave the American a hamburger. "Thanks dude." He took a bite of it and collapsed. "Get him off my stage!" Nigeria yelled. Germany picked him up before walking off. "Okay next is Canada?" Nigeria looked over to Hungary agian. "Just roll with it." She whispered. The crowd, okay only the Canadians in the crowd which was half of the crowd, cheered. Nigeria shrugged. "So um tell us your name." "M-matthew Williams a-aka Canada." _So he's a ghost? But this could be good for the show and where's my coffe?_ Hungary thought. The canadian crowd cheered as loud as they could. "This isn't a hockey game so please don't try to kill any Americans." Nigeri called out to crowd. "Oops sorry!" Someone called out. Nigeria would bet all his poiso- I mean money that it was the same guy who kept on yelling I love England. "So how old are you?" "I-I'm 17 in human years I-I forgot my countries years s-sorry." Awws erupted to the crowd. "I love you Canada! Marry me!" "He's going to marry me!" Nigeria took out a camera and began filming the two fans fight. "Okay um Matthew was it? Thanks for being on today. Next we have France ew." Canada quietly exited the stage much to the dissapoint of his fans. "Honhonhon." "Hello France. I was told to be nice to all the guests so I better toss this out." He threw the machete behind him. "My eye!" Prussia yelled. "Should we call an ambulance?" Austria asked. "Nah he'll sleep it off." Hungary answered. "So um tell us your about yourself and your name and age and how you'd like to die." Nigeria mumbled the last part. "My name is Francis Bonnfey. I am 25 and I like to have fun if you know what I." "Okay that's all the time we have for you." "But I did not finish mon ami." France interjected. "GET OFF THE STAGE I WANT TO SEE ENGLAND!" "You heard the fan." France begrudgingly left the stage. "Alright the man you've all been waiting for ARTHUR KIRKLAND!" The crowd began cheering louder. "G'day everybody." England greeted the crowd. "England great to see you again." "You two Nigeria." "Obviously you have alot of fans, so tell them something they don't know." England nodded. "I've realized alot of the fans think I'm still upset because of the revolutionary war, but I've actually gotten over it. It does still hurt to think about it, but isn't that life? You lose some and you gain some." Nigeria wiped away some of his tears. (It was only eyedrops. He saw some of the fans crying and didn't want to seem heartless) "I-I love you E-england." The fan sobbed while saying. "Ladies and gentleman I give you Arthur Kirkland." England waved to the crowd, before exiting the stage. "I hoped you enjoyed the show and ask us some dares and questions. Review and ask who we should interview next and if you would like to ask your favorite Hetalia character just fill this out."

Name-

Age-

Question-

Apparance-

Fav character-

"Thanks again and if this made you laugh or smile review if not tell us what would make you laugh or smile. Signing out is Nigeria and.." "Oi NIGERIA!" An angry Scotland yelled. "And that's my cue to run for my life until next time." Nigeria jumped over the couch and ran for his life with an angry Scottish man after him. The crowd applauded and the sound of glass breaking and Prussia yelling was heard.

**For all of those who love France I am truly sorry. He'll probably be a host for one of the chapters again I say I am truly sorry. Forgive me.**


	2. Interview 2

Interview 2

"Hi and welcome back. Our original host is in the hospital along with Scotland so my awesomeness is your host." Prussia declared. An eyepatch was over his left eye. The crowd began cheering and chanting awesome. "Thankyou thank you. The first we'll do with my awesomeness is interview or guest the king of creepy Russia!" Prussia shuddered lightly. The crowd, except for one crazy fan, hid behind their chairs and clapped. "WHOO I LOVE YOU RUSSIA!" The crazy fan cheered. Russia smiled over the fan. "Become one with Mother Russia da?" The cray fan nodded and fainted because of all the excitement. "Just cut it out later. I'm not getting sued anytime soon." Netherlands mumbled to the cameraman. "Okay so um Russia why don't you talk about yourself?" Prussia asked. "You become one with mother russia too, da?" "No." "DA!" Prussia mouthed help me to Hungary. She shrugged and went back to drinking her cofee. "I like sunflowers and my fans." "We know." "And it hurts when people call me creepy." Prussia eyes widened slightly. "I am aware of it and truly am sorry, but it's just how I am. Thank you for having me." Russia stood up and began exiting the stage. "WAIT RUSSIA! I'm truly sorry. We all are. If there's anything we can do, please tell us and we'll happily do it." Prussia said. "Become one with Mother Russia. da?" Russia skipped off the stage. Death glares were sent Prussia's way. "Well my awesomeness walked into that one. Let's see how Nigeria and Scotland are doing in the hospital."

(At the hospital)

"What do you mean Prussia's hosting MY TV show?!" An enraged Nigeria yelled. Scotland rolled his eyes not bothering to be apart of this argument. Nigeria began struggling to stamd up. "Sir please calm dow you were hit by a bus full of gasoline that suddenly caught on fire. If you remove the IVS you might die. Even though you survived that bus full of gasoline which apparently no one was driving." The doctor said. He looked strangely like Ireland, but no one was willing to question it. "SCREW LIFE!" Nigeria jumped through the window which was three stories up. "Can I have more tea?" Scotland asked ignoring the situation. Tthe doctor nodded.

(Back at the show)

Netherlands facepalmed,Hungary shook her head, and Denmark was laughing his hat off. Prussia shrugged and went back to hosting. "Okay apparently we don't have any other people to interview so just enjoy this comercial and we'll come up with something in the mean time."

(Commercial)

"Are you tired of all those tan lines? Get the new Prussian line remover. Just listen to these happy customers." A man that looked strangely like Prussia said.

"This Prussian thing made me white like literally white! I wanted to remove my tan not my skin color!"

"It hurts to move!"

"Man listen to those happy customers. Side effect may include: eyes bleeding, heart atyack, skin irritaion, inability to move, brain problems, and ear infection. This product is non-refundable and keep away from chilredn under fifteen. You can also buy the shampoo, the lotion, and body wash. All this included for one hundred dollars which rounds you up to a total of two hundred and I'll also throw in apicture of myslef for an additional fifty dollars. So order now!"

(End of Commercial)

China shook his head and dropped the clipboard in his hands. Prussia smirked. "Well thanks for tuning in with my awesomenesss today. I hope you enjoyed it, because the awesome me was here you have to enjoy it." "YO PRUSSIA!" Nigeria hit Prussia in the face with his crutches. He took out a gun and fired it twice. "MY OTHER GOOD EYE!" "He's still alive?" Netherlands asked. "Apparently." Norway answered. "I. OWN. THIS. TV. SHOW!" With every word he hit the albino wth his crutches. Nigeria turned his attention to the crowd and gave a bright smile. "Well that's all folks."

"Wait whatever happened to Scotland?" North asked.

(At the hospital)

A doctor was tied to a surgery bed and Scotland put on surgical gloves and a mask.

**Thank you for reading. I hope you smiled or laughed while reading this na dif you would personally like to join the cast and help out with commercial and all that stuff just put your name, age, personality, appearance, and what you would like to do in the commercial as a review and you may appear in one of the chapters. Again thanks for reading and thanks to Einsam-Schatten for requesting Russia.**


End file.
